I have always felt that the gravity of the message of death is what it tells us about life. This morning I finally read The Last Lecture, the book based on the lecture by computer science professor Randy Pausch at Carnegie Mellon University. A month before the lecture, he was told that he had no more than six months to live after the return of spreading pancreatic cancer, and he took on the lecture in part as a legacy for his three young children. Word got around of the lecture on Youtube, leading eventually to the book, where the ideas are extended with the help of co-author Jeffrey Zaslow.
It is impossible to read the book without rethinking the importance of how we spend our time, and what imprint we can leave. It struck me that a terminal disease has inspired the author to ensure that he leaves his children with a tangible sense of who he was. Yet we all know that life is terminal: not having a deadline we easily neglect the value of the moment. The Last Lecture is a great read, but I take two things away from it: first, to make the most of the moment, and second, to leave some evidence of who we are and will have been.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
I-Search Myself
Today we received the assignment for our second module, and I think I am finally over the trauma that has withheld me from putting down my thoughts on the process of the first. So before I plunge into the next one, here are a few issues that came up in the first assignment. Writing about this rather resembles a procedure called “I-Search”, which came up in our assigned reading yesterday. An I-Search is a student’s analysis of the experience of a writing assignment, designed to develop self-awareness and improve writing and research abilities. Since I would rather be described as “self-aware” than “self-conscious” (whatever the truth may be!), I’ll give it a go. For the sake of convenience, I will loosely follow the questions proposed in said reading by Ann M. Johns (2006:170-1), which is reproduced in italics. In the spirit of the I-Search, I am writing this before receiving my grade. I am posting this in my online blog (which feeds to four different sites) for the benefit of reference, but also for other students in similar positions and instructors investigating the I-Search procedure and reflective meta-skills.
1. The opening
a) Have you ever completed papers like [this] before? If so, how is this alike… or different…?
I have never done anything on this scale before, either in depth or breadth. My last academic writing was at BA level, and I rarely consulted more than a handful of sources. At a length of 6 000 words, I had no idea how much this would even involve, and ended up drafting way, way too much. I think this was much more different from my past writing experience than it was the same.
b) What was the research question you selected? Did you revise it as you completed your search?
There were six suggested questions to choose from, and a seventh which allowed for a self-designed question. I chose the seventh, and formulated my question as: Discuss the potential influences of context on learning style among students in your context. Although my approach was modified several times, the question was not.
c) Why did you choose this question?
Because I was an overzealous, arrogant clod! The question required discussion of four different areas of the module, whereas another question would simply have required discussion of one area as applied to my own context. I also had some misgivings about the concept of learning styles and had no idea how nebulous and convoluted that area is. However, I am extremely interested in learning styles: what I didn’t know, though, is that learning strategies lie closer to my heart. This points out a big issue in working in such a completely new area: my knowledge of my field of study was still limited, and the three-odd months between my first day of class and the deadline was too short to amplify my awareness sufficiently. Since the hand-in I have learnt so much, simply because I am free to read more widely!
2. The Search:
a) What steps did you take in completing your research? Be as specific and detailed as possible.
Again, overzealousness was my downfall. I decided to triangulate (in fact, quadrangulate, with four sets of data!), although in fact no research is required at this stage. I used essays students had written about their learning styles, focus group interviews, a diagram students had filled in about their learning styles and extracts from my teaching journal.
b) What roadblocks did you encounter…?
The shortage of resources at my host college has been an obvious problem. We also did not receive student numbers, etc. required to use the university’s online library, until six weeks before the deadline. The terminology problem really made searches difficult.
c) What success did you experience?
I was completely obsessed with the assignment and ate, slept and dreamt it for weeks. Many of the best ideas about structuring it came to me in sleep. I felt I was able to connect the topic to wider reality by using a spectrum of sources beyond the subject area.
d) Whom did you ask for help?
Minimal correspondence with tutors, since I didn’t want to make a nuisance of myself. Was this a mistake? Also discussed ideas with colleagues and students. By the end I was feeling so compromised by all the constraints that I was too embarrassed to ask anyone to proofread, although I had had several offers.
e) Was the classroom feedback… helpful? Why?
The instructor’s feedback was exceptionally detailed, focusing on exact word choice in most cases. There were no structural pointers, and I am wondering if that will prove to be my downfall? I appreciated the encouragement, but felt the feedback didn’t make a very big difference to the final product.
3. My growth as a reasearcher
a) How do you feel about your paper…? Do you think it is well-written? Thoughtful? Worthy of a good grade? Why?
I am extremely proud of my paper and feel I did my very best under the circumstances. However, I know the paper demands better. Writing in academic style did make me feel that I’d somewhat lost my voice, and developing a personal academic writing style is something I still feel I need to work on. A great weakness is the fact that I had so many areas to draw on that I had to skim over all of them, leaving some of the more detailed information for the appendices. I feel this was solidly done, but some readers may really dislike this and it may even discredit the academic value of the work. There was no comment on this when I submitted the draft, so I am hoping it won’t be a major problem. It is thoughtful and academically mature in many ways, overall, but no doubt my novice status shows.
b) Are you satisfied with your writing and search process? What went well? What would you change?
I honestly do believe that I did the best I could under the circumstances. A major factor was the shortage of resources, and the limited time compared to later assignments. (Almost six months are allocated for the next module’s assignment, and this after we have already covered much of the reading and already have a broader overview of the field.) I used backward mapping to plan my time, and it worked very well: including contingency time and off days really paid off. Under those circumstances, there is nothing I could change, but I am sure to deliberately prevent some of the manageable problems that did come up this time around, although many of them are not relevant in future assignments. On second thoughts, the things I urgently need to change were in my life beyond studies: because of the time crunch I single-mindedly pursued the assignment and abandoned other important things. Chief among these was my formerly stringent health regimen, which went straight to the dogs, and I am now paying the price for that. If I have to choose between my health and an MA, Father Academe comes second.
4. My growth as a writer
a) How did you grow as a writer?
I have learnt the need for archiving my resources as the amount of reading I have covered continues to grow. I have learnt many tricks for keeping thing more organized, especially using the computer. I think I have improved my ability to strategise.
b) What will you do differently…?
I really do think the things that I was able to control were fine, the processes might just need some tweaking. I would not jump into a postgraduate program again without having done prior reading, but if there had been an option I wouldn’t have done so in the first place. I will keep in mind that all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
5. My suggestions for future assignments
a) … what else helped you to complete this assignment?
Caffeine. Self-talk. Positive reinforcement from instructors and classmates, and especially the strong group feeling created by the tutors in our first module sessions. The hefty deposit I had to pay to enroll. Without this, I would most certainly have quit.
b) What might your instructors have done to enhance your writing processes and improve your written product?
Access to reading materials before the course is important: I am not sure how much of this was provided, since I only heard of the program after it had started. Considering that students are new to the field, I feel more of an introduction is needed, and more time should be allocated for reading before narrowing down to focus on the assignment. The Virtual Learning Environment is being overhauled, and I found remnants of former courses but apparently this facility is not used any more. Our group has been given a Ning page for networking online, but it has mostly been used as a social networking site. I have tried to initiate some higher-order discussion, but so far this has run into dead ends very quickly, and I am beginning to feel embarrassed about “dominating” the page, so I may stop trying. It would be really helpful to share a page with students from the same course in other countries.
Johns, A.M. 2006. Students and feedback: reflective feedback for I-Search papers. In Hyland & Hyland (Eds.) Feedback in Second Language Writing. Cambridge: CUP.
1. The opening
a) Have you ever completed papers like [this] before? If so, how is this alike… or different…?
I have never done anything on this scale before, either in depth or breadth. My last academic writing was at BA level, and I rarely consulted more than a handful of sources. At a length of 6 000 words, I had no idea how much this would even involve, and ended up drafting way, way too much. I think this was much more different from my past writing experience than it was the same.
b) What was the research question you selected? Did you revise it as you completed your search?
There were six suggested questions to choose from, and a seventh which allowed for a self-designed question. I chose the seventh, and formulated my question as: Discuss the potential influences of context on learning style among students in your context. Although my approach was modified several times, the question was not.
c) Why did you choose this question?
Because I was an overzealous, arrogant clod! The question required discussion of four different areas of the module, whereas another question would simply have required discussion of one area as applied to my own context. I also had some misgivings about the concept of learning styles and had no idea how nebulous and convoluted that area is. However, I am extremely interested in learning styles: what I didn’t know, though, is that learning strategies lie closer to my heart. This points out a big issue in working in such a completely new area: my knowledge of my field of study was still limited, and the three-odd months between my first day of class and the deadline was too short to amplify my awareness sufficiently. Since the hand-in I have learnt so much, simply because I am free to read more widely!
2. The Search:
a) What steps did you take in completing your research? Be as specific and detailed as possible.
Again, overzealousness was my downfall. I decided to triangulate (in fact, quadrangulate, with four sets of data!), although in fact no research is required at this stage. I used essays students had written about their learning styles, focus group interviews, a diagram students had filled in about their learning styles and extracts from my teaching journal.
b) What roadblocks did you encounter…?
The shortage of resources at my host college has been an obvious problem. We also did not receive student numbers, etc. required to use the university’s online library, until six weeks before the deadline. The terminology problem really made searches difficult.
c) What success did you experience?
I was completely obsessed with the assignment and ate, slept and dreamt it for weeks. Many of the best ideas about structuring it came to me in sleep. I felt I was able to connect the topic to wider reality by using a spectrum of sources beyond the subject area.
d) Whom did you ask for help?
Minimal correspondence with tutors, since I didn’t want to make a nuisance of myself. Was this a mistake? Also discussed ideas with colleagues and students. By the end I was feeling so compromised by all the constraints that I was too embarrassed to ask anyone to proofread, although I had had several offers.
e) Was the classroom feedback… helpful? Why?
The instructor’s feedback was exceptionally detailed, focusing on exact word choice in most cases. There were no structural pointers, and I am wondering if that will prove to be my downfall? I appreciated the encouragement, but felt the feedback didn’t make a very big difference to the final product.
3. My growth as a reasearcher
a) How do you feel about your paper…? Do you think it is well-written? Thoughtful? Worthy of a good grade? Why?
I am extremely proud of my paper and feel I did my very best under the circumstances. However, I know the paper demands better. Writing in academic style did make me feel that I’d somewhat lost my voice, and developing a personal academic writing style is something I still feel I need to work on. A great weakness is the fact that I had so many areas to draw on that I had to skim over all of them, leaving some of the more detailed information for the appendices. I feel this was solidly done, but some readers may really dislike this and it may even discredit the academic value of the work. There was no comment on this when I submitted the draft, so I am hoping it won’t be a major problem. It is thoughtful and academically mature in many ways, overall, but no doubt my novice status shows.
b) Are you satisfied with your writing and search process? What went well? What would you change?
I honestly do believe that I did the best I could under the circumstances. A major factor was the shortage of resources, and the limited time compared to later assignments. (Almost six months are allocated for the next module’s assignment, and this after we have already covered much of the reading and already have a broader overview of the field.) I used backward mapping to plan my time, and it worked very well: including contingency time and off days really paid off. Under those circumstances, there is nothing I could change, but I am sure to deliberately prevent some of the manageable problems that did come up this time around, although many of them are not relevant in future assignments. On second thoughts, the things I urgently need to change were in my life beyond studies: because of the time crunch I single-mindedly pursued the assignment and abandoned other important things. Chief among these was my formerly stringent health regimen, which went straight to the dogs, and I am now paying the price for that. If I have to choose between my health and an MA, Father Academe comes second.
4. My growth as a writer
a) How did you grow as a writer?
I have learnt the need for archiving my resources as the amount of reading I have covered continues to grow. I have learnt many tricks for keeping thing more organized, especially using the computer. I think I have improved my ability to strategise.
b) What will you do differently…?
I really do think the things that I was able to control were fine, the processes might just need some tweaking. I would not jump into a postgraduate program again without having done prior reading, but if there had been an option I wouldn’t have done so in the first place. I will keep in mind that all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
5. My suggestions for future assignments
a) … what else helped you to complete this assignment?
Caffeine. Self-talk. Positive reinforcement from instructors and classmates, and especially the strong group feeling created by the tutors in our first module sessions. The hefty deposit I had to pay to enroll. Without this, I would most certainly have quit.
b) What might your instructors have done to enhance your writing processes and improve your written product?
Access to reading materials before the course is important: I am not sure how much of this was provided, since I only heard of the program after it had started. Considering that students are new to the field, I feel more of an introduction is needed, and more time should be allocated for reading before narrowing down to focus on the assignment. The Virtual Learning Environment is being overhauled, and I found remnants of former courses but apparently this facility is not used any more. Our group has been given a Ning page for networking online, but it has mostly been used as a social networking site. I have tried to initiate some higher-order discussion, but so far this has run into dead ends very quickly, and I am beginning to feel embarrassed about “dominating” the page, so I may stop trying. It would be really helpful to share a page with students from the same course in other countries.
Johns, A.M. 2006. Students and feedback: reflective feedback for I-Search papers. In Hyland & Hyland (Eds.) Feedback in Second Language Writing. Cambridge: CUP.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
A Life More Mediated
One of the assignments in preparation of our upcoming intensive course next week is to keep a reading and writing diary. The observer effect aside (did I read and write more because I was more aware of it?), there seems to be good reason to believe that I lead a completely mediated existence. There is slightly more reading and quite a bit more writing here than usual, because I am preparing for the classes, but on any weekend day I spend several hours reading, at least half an hour writing and at least an hour reading and writing online or by mobile phone. Without literacy I would most certainly be doomed. Illiteracy is a considerable issue here in Oman, where public education was only initiated in 1970. I have mentioned elsewhere that students are often surprised to hear that I correspond with my folks by email, not because they can use a computer but because they can both actually read and write.
Below is a quick rundown of my mediated day. Do note, though, that the sociocultural values of my country of residence severely restrict my freedom of movement: when living elsewhere I would usually pop out for some unmediated social contact at least once and go for a walk. Here, this is not a smart option for an unaccompanied woman. (In the town where I am based, there really isn’t anywhere to go anyway.) It’s the perfect place to live if you don’t want distractions, though that’s a double-edged sword of course.
06:15-06-45 Read textbook chapter (English)
06:45-07:30 Wrote up notes (English)
08:15-08:25 Read news ticker on BBCW while watching random news events (English)
08:40-08:45 SMS friends (English)
08:45-08:55 Read textbook chapter (English)
08:55-09:15 Wrote up notes (English)
09:15-09:20 SMS pingpong (English
09:20-09:40 Online: read available podcasts and select downloads, registered product, read article abstracts to select downloads for later reading. (English)
09:40-0:45 SMS pingpong (English)
10:10-11:00 Read downloaded articles (English)
11:10-11:20 Read transcripts to confirm French listening activity just completed (French)
11:30-11:45 Read news tickers while watching BBCW (English)
11:45-11:55 Read chapter of textbook (English)
11:55-12:15 Wrote up notes (English)
1:00-3:00 Read and wrote up 3 textbook chapters (English)
3:15-3:30 Read podcast directory to choose downloads (English)
6:00-6:01 Read SMS. Did not reply. (English)
7:00-8:00 Skimmed and outlined coming chapters of textbook (English)
8:00-??? Online: read and write messages on networking sites (English and Afrikaans), Read and write email (English and Afrikaans)
Later… some recreational reading, maybe…?
Below is a quick rundown of my mediated day. Do note, though, that the sociocultural values of my country of residence severely restrict my freedom of movement: when living elsewhere I would usually pop out for some unmediated social contact at least once and go for a walk. Here, this is not a smart option for an unaccompanied woman. (In the town where I am based, there really isn’t anywhere to go anyway.) It’s the perfect place to live if you don’t want distractions, though that’s a double-edged sword of course.
06:15-06-45 Read textbook chapter (English)
06:45-07:30 Wrote up notes (English)
08:15-08:25 Read news ticker on BBCW while watching random news events (English)
08:40-08:45 SMS friends (English)
08:45-08:55 Read textbook chapter (English)
08:55-09:15 Wrote up notes (English)
09:15-09:20 SMS pingpong (English
09:20-09:40 Online: read available podcasts and select downloads, registered product, read article abstracts to select downloads for later reading. (English)
09:40-0:45 SMS pingpong (English)
10:10-11:00 Read downloaded articles (English)
11:10-11:20 Read transcripts to confirm French listening activity just completed (French)
11:30-11:45 Read news tickers while watching BBCW (English)
11:45-11:55 Read chapter of textbook (English)
11:55-12:15 Wrote up notes (English)
1:00-3:00 Read and wrote up 3 textbook chapters (English)
3:15-3:30 Read podcast directory to choose downloads (English)
6:00-6:01 Read SMS. Did not reply. (English)
7:00-8:00 Skimmed and outlined coming chapters of textbook (English)
8:00-??? Online: read and write messages on networking sites (English and Afrikaans), Read and write email (English and Afrikaans)
Later… some recreational reading, maybe…?
Friday, June 6, 2008
Broken English?
Just finished reading David Crystal’s The Stories of English (2004, Penguin) and wound up, as one often does after a good book, with more questions than answers. Crystal’s take on the English language, in this and other publications of note, has been descriptive, rather than prescriptive. In other words, rather than prescribing what the language should look like, as grammarians are often wont to, he describes what it actually does look like. Crystal revels in the possibilities of Modern Standard English, not as the Holy Grail of usage, but as a unifying alternative in a multidialectal and multilingual world. In his English as a Global Language (2003, CUP), the author explored the value of English uniting speakers of other languages, encouraging bilingualism in both a mother tongue and English. Here, the praises of multidialectism are sung: while Modern Standard English ensures that all English speakers can understand each other, the unique flavours of dialect diffuse meaning, atmosphere and linguistic wealth into the language. The thorough and incisive account of the history of English also shows that dialect is nothing new. Truth be told, English itself sprung from that fertile spring of the accursed bastard dialect- a fact readily under rug swept by its purist-prescriptivist proponents. We see that if language is a living entity, it can not be treated like some lifeless object.
I really want to agree with the author. As a native speaker of a minority language who later learned what even the generous David Crystal refers to as a creole of English, I feel he has championed my (not-so-rare) cause. And yet, as a teacher of English, I am not sure what this leaves me to teach. If non-standard usage is not “wrong”, and my students’ usage is common enough to be considered a dialect (though abhorrent to the prescriptive grammarian and even to my dastardly bastardly dialectical sensibilities), does that make it “right”? If dialect is so vibrant and expressive and wrapped up in cultural identity, do I have a right to nip “errors” in the bud? And most of all, if the Modern Standard English-speaking world remains prejudiced- as it does- towards “broken English”, do I have a right not to?
I don’t have a final answer, but my evolving policy at the moment is this. To encourage awareness of non-standard English use- local and others- by contrastive analysis. To conduct error analysis where the local dialect use can cause misunderstanding of offense. And most definitely, to encourage informed and informative use of the local dialect where appropriate, using strategies such as paraphrasing and footnotes for explanation.
(Broken English was the title of a 1979 song by Marianne Faithfull. See the video here.)
I really want to agree with the author. As a native speaker of a minority language who later learned what even the generous David Crystal refers to as a creole of English, I feel he has championed my (not-so-rare) cause. And yet, as a teacher of English, I am not sure what this leaves me to teach. If non-standard usage is not “wrong”, and my students’ usage is common enough to be considered a dialect (though abhorrent to the prescriptive grammarian and even to my dastardly bastardly dialectical sensibilities), does that make it “right”? If dialect is so vibrant and expressive and wrapped up in cultural identity, do I have a right to nip “errors” in the bud? And most of all, if the Modern Standard English-speaking world remains prejudiced- as it does- towards “broken English”, do I have a right not to?
I don’t have a final answer, but my evolving policy at the moment is this. To encourage awareness of non-standard English use- local and others- by contrastive analysis. To conduct error analysis where the local dialect use can cause misunderstanding of offense. And most definitely, to encourage informed and informative use of the local dialect where appropriate, using strategies such as paraphrasing and footnotes for explanation.
(Broken English was the title of a 1979 song by Marianne Faithfull. See the video here.)
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