The Chandelier Dilemma

We’re heading for a fall here. I do not condone complaining, but an occasional bout of realism is necessary. First thing this morning, I did somersaults to have a full set of transparencies ready for my 10 AM Language Through Arts class. The only printer that can make transparencies has been in for repairs for three weeks, so I wrote four full sheets by hand. When I arrived in class, the overhead projector wouldn’t work, so I went up and down to flights of stairs to replace it. The next projector wouldn’t work either, proving that the electricity socket was out of order. So I proceeded to teach the information-loaded lesson using the whiteboard- after having ventured back up the stairs to return the borrowed projector. A handful of students were engaged and working with the new material, but too many were not.

This lesson was my very labour-intensive response to the students’ lack of involvement in former lessons. I tried to increase their connection to the work by providing a scheme for planning their short film production schedule, narrative and educational elements. The level of involvement was higher than before, but still not enough to ensure results. They claim to want practical projects, but when the time for practical projects arrives, many do nothing while very few students do their work to an acceptable standard. Perhaps not everyone has talent, but I know effort when I see it. What in the world could possibly beat making a short film in a university class? Yet their attitudes are lukewarm at best. I can only continue to do my very best, but at some point I have to ask myself where my responsibility ends and the students’ begins.

My Writing class, too, despite last week’s relative triumph, was completely out of sync once the six absentees from last week rejoined us. Since they haven’t been through the pre-writing process, I had to stagger the lesson to allow others to start self-editing while these students got a recap. It was all so rushed that I don’t know how much the absentees absorbed, though I did invite them to discuss any questions with me and extended their deadline. Perhaps an extra recap class will be necessary if several students are lost.

Returned a few books to the college library, but couldn’t take out new ones since the system was down. There are two shelves of English books, most of them multiple copies of prescribed readings for the courses. Fewer than 2000 volumes in total. There are 560 students in our department. If every student borrowed two books at once, the collection would be halved. Above this very modest English academic collection for the largest English Department among the nation’s ministerial colleges, there hangs a four-tiered crystal chandelier valued at seven thousand Omani Rials- around US$18 203, by today’s conversion rate. As a mere guest, it is not my place to question this Carrollesque allocation of resources, but it is hard not to. The areas where resources are needed for education are flagrantly neglected.

And then I come home to finish my reading of what was intended to be an uplifting book: Understanding Language Teaching: Reasoning in Action (Johnson, K. 2001. Boston: Heinle & Heinle). What do I find but the following passage…

“The image of the teacher as dilemma manager accepts conflict as a continuing condition with which persons can learn to cope. (I)n addition to defending against and choosing among conflicting expectations… the dilemma manager accepts conflict as endemic and even useful to her work rather than seeing it as a burden that needs to be eliminated.” (Lampert, 1985 p. 192, quoted on p. 69)

“Learn to cope”. That sounds so desperate. And how tragic that it seems so apt. My feeling today is one of intense frustration as I try to understand what makes these students tick. They receive their education free of charge, as well as a government stipend for their expenses. Yet the general sense of indifference to their studies is palpable. How many people across the world are hungry for learning which they are unable to fund? When a human being wants to learn, nothing can stand in his or her way. But what will clear the way for the multitudes who couldn’t be bothered? How long will I continue to teach them simply because they can pay me more?