Crime and Punishment (For They Know Not What They Do)

There is that wonderful staying about the last straw that breaks the camel’s back. Today this camel is examining the most recent straw on its back and wondering if this will finally be the last. Perhaps it will just be yet another straw that makes the camel’s back stronger. There have been so many of those.

That last straw, a tiny little thing. A material object the size of the dinner plate that represents a conflict the size of a galaxy. It is the second time a hubcap is stolen off my car, and although it is simply a practical annoyance, the sense of violation ripped through the very core of me. In a small town like this one, this is no anonymous petty crime and no surreptitious sin.

Religion has been criticised as the opiate of the masses, but I have occasion to wonder if the criticism should not rather fall on the masses themselves, who are so much less harmless when “doped with religion and sex and TV”, as John Lennon so eloquently spat. “Masses” who have not evolved the understanding that a sin against another is a sin against oneself, are perhaps better off inebriated with the fear of a wrathful deity than in their jaded, sober confidence that God cannot see what they do under cover of darkness.

I very specifically set out to dedicate this blog to my studies and teaching, which are inextricably linked. Yet the third link, the shadow of the two, keeps creeping in, uninvited: an environment where chaos and conflict are the only constants. To remain in this country appears to be a sensible move for many reasons: I would have relative stability, a stable income and a fair bit of paid leave while I complete my studies. But in other respects, it would be insane: a toxic work environment where I am at the hub of activity, yet have minimal power, a neighbourhood where I cannot leave my house without being harassed and people have no qualms about vandalising what is mine, and a country where, by virtue of living alone, I will forever be considered sharmouta- a prostitute.

And until I leave this Hades which I endure just for money, that won’t be far from the truth.